Alexia vs Alexia
by Angel1876
Summary: Veronica Alexia verses Darkside Alexia! It's what you've all been waiting for! Oneshot. Warning: Slight randomness and a plot that doesn't quite make sence.
1. Alexia vs Alexia

**_AN: Forgive me, this isn't my best work. But, I was bored, and half asleep(I still am as I type this). Even so, I hope you all enjoy reading this, and maybe get a laugh or two. _**

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><p>Alfred gasped as the thick plants circled his already injured body. "Alexia, what are you-" he was cut off as her was cruelly pinned to the wall, and one of the vines wrapped tightly around his neck, cutting off all air. He struggled, but after his battle with those rats it wasn't much of a fight.<p>

Why? He'd been a good brother, he'd watched over her, he'd done everything for her! Why was she doing this?

"You're late, brother." she purred, and his eyes widened."I had been expecting to be awake long before now." She was hurting him because of a few months? But...but Alexia wouldn't do that! Would she? But...he'd tried so hard. So what if he lost track of reality? So what if he occasionally dressed up as her and talked to himself in her voice? He was still her brother! This...shouldn't be happening!

The world grew blurry, and he heard the snow globe shader on the floor before he'd realized he'd dropped it. He couldn't believe it. She was really going to kill him...

Suddenly, the plants were jerked away from him, and he fell to the ground gasping for air. "What?" he heard Alexia exclaim in shock.

"You would do best not to touch him again." why was she talking to herself? Still breathing heavily, he looked up to see the vines fighting with another set of vines. And...two Alexias? Two of them? But...crap. He was crazier than everyone thought he was.

"Who are you?" hissed sister number one, fire flickering on her fingertips in anger.

"I am Alexia Ashford." replied sister number two calmly. "You are an imposter."

"I'm an imposter? You're the imposter!"

"I, for one, would never hurt Alfred the way you just tried to."

"Bitch..." the first one exploded into the plant human, and lunged for the second one, who sidestepped and caused the first one to run headfirst into a table, and knock herself unconscious.

"Pathetic." murmured the second one as she approached Alfred, who was more confused than he'd ever been in his entire life, "Are you okay, brother?"

"Alexia?" he whispered, "Alexia!" injuries forgotten, he threw himself at her like a puppy would it's owner, "Alexia! I, why are there two of you? And why is that one so...bad?"

"My dear Alfred, ask Capcom."

"Capcom?"

"An evil company that made an evil clone of me. That was evil. They sent her to kill you off, to make me seem more evil. But I would never hurt you, you know that."

"Good!" he said, happy, "Um...I'm getting blood all over your purple dress."

"It's all right, I'll be clean next cutscene."

"Cutsecene?"

A growl interrupted them, and the new Alexia slowly stood, glaring at them angrily. "You will pay for this."

"I think not." the real Alexia replied and snapped her fingers. The other one disappeared into thin air.

"Where did she go?" he asked curiously.

"Oh, some where nice with faries and unicorns and glitter. Come, let us completely disregard the people trying to destroy this island, the zombies and monsters running about, and that bullet wound in your chest, and go get some ice cream."

"Yay ice cream!"

**Meanwhile...**

"I...where am I?" the fake Alexia stood and looked around. She was in an empty, pure white room.

"Welcome...to the Resident Evil movie series!" a computer voice called out, "You are about to encounter Alice, a Mary Sue that can destroy things with her super ultra brain attack. Have a nice day!" as soon as it finished speaking a woman walked in with a giant bazooka and blew the fake Alexia up. Alice looked at the giant hole in the wall and tilted her head to the side in thought.

"I feel like ice cream..."


	2. Alexia vs Angel

**AN: Okay, I know I said this would be a one shot, but I had a couple ideas, and thought I'd continue it in here instead of writing them separately. Hope you all like it. ^^**

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><p>Wesker chuckled darkly to himself as he gazed through the window at the two siblings as they ate their ice cream. Oh, yes. Soon, the virus would be his...<p>

"Excuse me? You aren't thinking of ruining the moment, are you, Wesker?"

He turned to face the person that had spoken. A young woman...that floated there, just a few inches off the ground. Her body was see through and had a light blue tint, giving her the appearance of a ghost.

"Who are you?" he asked, his eyes flashing in anger from the interruption.

"Me? Call me Angel. Now, I repeat, you aren't thinking of messing this up, are you? I know you, and I know that you like to hurt people for your own gain. Go bug Chris, leave these two alone."

"I don't follow orders." he growled and pulled a gun on her. She grinned, as if this made her whole day.

"I was hoping that would be your response." she snapped her fingers, and they both disappeared. Suddenly, they were both in a white room, with a huge hole in the wall.

"What the...? What did you do?"

"A...clone?" another voice asked, and he turned to see an exact copy of himself. Slowly, the two Weskers removed their sunglasses, and two sets of amber cat eyes gazed into each other.

"Game Wesker, meet movie Wesker." a pair of glasses appeared on her face, "I wear my sunglasses at night so I can, so I can... Come on, you know you want to sing along. Oh, game, be carful, movie might try to eat you. He has a hungry squid in his mouth."

"I find that insulting." muttered the movie version.

Something shifted on the far side of the room, where the hole was. A plant was growing there. "Wow..." Angel said, drifting close to it, "I don't remember that being there..." suddenly, the plant split open, revealing the Darkside Alexia, "Oh. Hi." Angel murmured, suddenly disinterested.

"There you are!" game Wesker exclaimed, starting toward her.

"Oh, shush you." Angel snapped her fingers again, and the two men disappeared.

"Hey, you have the same powers as her." Alexia glared at her.

"Of course I do. I'm the author, I can do whatever I want here." the woman smiled and tossed the sunglasses to the floor, "I gave then to her so she could send you here and Alice could kick your butt. Yay!"

"She defeated me with a single rocket." she growled the words,"That isn't possible. I can take much more damage than that."

"Not if I say you don't. Besides, she's a marry sue. You could be a giant, over powered monster that can kill things with the bat of an eye lash, have regenerating powers, and the ability to teleport, and she could be normal, human, and have but one bullet, and she'd still beat you. They're compleatly unbeleaveable characters. That's why people don't like them, why watch when you know very well that no matter what happens they'll get out with out even a single scratch?"

"Well, un-marry sue her! If you're the author, you can do that, right?"

Angel folded her arms, "And why would I do that? I dislike you more than I dislike her, you know."

"What the hell did I do to you?"

"You hurt my favorite character. He's your brother, and you strangled him because 'he was late.' What the hell, plant lady?"

Alexia sighed, "Come on. Will you do it if I apologize to him?"

"Hell no, you ain't goin anywhere near Alfred again."

"There must be something I can do. Have you noticed the plot holes in this story? I could help-"

"Dude, there are so many plot holes, this story could be cheddar cheese. What are Steve and Claire doing? What about Chris? Not to mention the fact Alfred still has bullet wounds, which are being completely ignored 'cause-"

"I can think of one you haven't thought of." Alexia interrupted.

"And why would I care? I don't care about the others, so..."

"Oh, you'll care about this one. Think about it. Alfred's your favorite character, right?" she nodded, "Okay, the...other Alexia, she's from Code Veronica, yes? And me, I'm from Darkside Chronicals. Which means, the person I attacked was the Darkside version of Alfred. Consider this, if Code Veronica Alexia is with Darkside Alfred, what's going on with the other Alfred, from Veronica?"

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A cricket chirped quietly, then went silent.

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"Oh, crap!" Angel disappeared, leaving Alexia alone to grin evilly, and proceed to do Alexia things. Like laughing insanely over an ant hill. Then setting it on fire. Then getting in trouble with the police for arson, and having to spend the rest of the night trying to break out of jail.

"Angel! What the eff you doing to me?"

"What? You'd look cool in black and white stripes." Angel laughed and left for real.

Meanwhile...

"Alexia? What...?" Alfred gasped, his body shaking from exhaustion. He didn't understand...where was she? He gasped as his legs gave out from under him, and he collapsed on the steps that led up to the tank. How could this be...?

Something grabbed him around the waist.

"Sorry Alfred! So sorry! I didn't mean to! You must hate me now. I'm sorry!" a girl, but not Claire, yelled next to his ear. He rolled over to glare at her, and was met with the sight of a floating ghost like woman. His eyes widened and immediately he scrambled away from her, "Alfred?" she asked, curious as to why he was suddenly cowering against the tank.

"Alexia help! There's a fangirl in here! Please, Alexia! What if she pairs me with Claire?" he paused, the shrieked in a high pitched voice, "What if she likes yaoi? I don't wanna be paired with Steve! I'll lose IQ points just from looking at him!"

Angel laughed quietly and snapped her fingers, sending him to Code Veronica Alexia. She hoped it didn't end horribly... ah well, she'd check in on them later. She had to deal with the Darkside version for now.


	3. Alexia vs Alice

"Hey, plant lady!" Angel said brightly, appearing in front of the woman in question with a huge grin on her face, "Ready for your rematch? Come on, tick tick, time is passing."

Alexia folded her arms, "I have to fight you to get you to let me have a rematch, and now you're all, 'tick tick?'"

"Boom!" she giggled, and flipped over so she was floating upside down, "I'm just excited!"

"This can't be good..."

"Oh, don't be that way, plant lady! Come on, happy face. I'm un-marry sueing her as you requested. Ready yourself." she disappeared.

_Meanwhile..._

Alice sat at the kitchen table, a smile on her face as she gazed at the bowl of vanilla ice cream. It was her favorite, and she couldn't wait to take that first bite of cold, creamy goodness. She grabbed a bottle of chocolate syrup and poured it over the frozen desert, the liquid coating the treat and gathering at the sides of the bowl. Finally, she took the spoon in hand, dipped it into the delicious mixture, and slowly brought it to her waiting mouth...

Poof!

Alexia grinned darkly as the woman appeared in front of her. Alice paused, "Where did my ice cream go?" she asked, confused.

"Oops, did I interrupt?" Angel's voice answered, amusement in her voice.

"Kind of." Alice said, completely missing the tone the disembodied girl used, "I was just about to take the first bite, too..."

"Aww, poor girl."

"It'll be melted soon if I don't get back."

"Gasp! Oh, no!"

"Hello, revenge battle happening here," Alexia interrupted, "Kinda ruining the drama if you discuss ice cream now, okay?"

"You know, you're a kill joy, plant lady." muttered Angel's voice, but still she went silent.

"'Revenge battle?' What'd I do to you?"

"You defeated me! With a single rocket!"

"Really? I don't remember."

Alexia's jaw dropped, "How can you not remember? You shot me with a rocket and blew me up! How do you forget something like that?"

Alice shrugged, "Dunno."

Alexia growled, soft, happy music in the background. "Angel!" she snapped.

"Oh, sorry." the woman in question answered, and the music changed to the nightmare on elm street theme.

"Angel..." hissed the frustrated Alexia, "I want something angry and dramatic, not slow and creepy."

"Kay." it changed to the psycho theme. Alexia face palmed.

"Guess that'll have to do." Alexia smirked suddenly, and rushed at the woman, her arm bursting into flame as she readied her attack...

Which Alice dodged, causing Alexia to run face first into the wall. "What the hell? Angel, you said-"

"I said I'd un-marry sue her. I didn't say I'd take her powers away. You have still have to beat her. You didn't think I'd make this easy, did you? If I did, and you won in one hit, you'd be the marry sue. No, it must be a fair fight."

Alice blinked, "Are you talking about me? You're saying I'm a marry sue?" she folded her arms, "I find that insulting."

Alexia growled and rushed the woman again, and this time she made contact. Alice retaliated by smacking the Ashford upside the head. This resulted in a, rather uncharacteristic, slap fight. Suddenly, Alexia turned into her dragonfly form, and was about to land the final hit when...

A giant flyswatter hit them both!

A ghostly image of both Alexia and Alice rose from the mush that was their bodies. Unlike Angel, they were simply transparent, without the blue tint.

"I fight armies of zombies, I fight freaking squid faced _Wesker_, and I get killed by a fly swatter." muttered ghost Alice. She sighed mournfully.

"Angel...why did you just kill us off... so stupidly, I might add?" Alexia asked angrily.

"See, I still don't like you, plant lady." Angel appeared in front of the Veronica incarnate, "So, I killed you both off. But, since you reminded me of Alfred, I decided to wait until it was clear you would win this little battle. Bye, bye now. Hope you enjoy playing Casper." poof, she was gone, leaving the two behind.

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"I'm going to go see if ghost ice creme exists." Alice stated, proceeding to drift through the wall, leaving an enraged Alexia behind.


	4. Wesker vs Wesker

The video game Wesker looked at the movie Wesker, "Do you have any idea as to where we are?"

The game version shook his head. "I've no idea...but I don't like it." he gazed around at their surroundings, "Some sort of arena, so it seems."

"...Do you really have a...squid in your mouth?"

"Yes. Yes I do."

"'Ello! How's my favorite sunglasses wearing villain, uh, villains, doing?" Angel appeared, floating as usual, above them. She was smiling brightly, but it was unnerving, like the grin of a cheshire cat, "Come on, please? Sing the song? It'll be epic..."

Game Wesker folded his arms, "No. I would much rather know why you brought us here?"

"Fun?" she said, tilting her head to one side as she did so, "Are you not having it?"

"No, we are not having it," snapped movie Wesker, "Now, if you don't mind, miss author, I would very much like to go back to where I was so I may ingest Alice."

"Ingest her?" game Wesker said, repulsed by the idea, "The script writers for the movies must have been on drugs or something..."

"Yep! Now, shall we get started?" Angel asked as she floated upside down, still grinning.

"Start what?" the two cat-eyed males asked at the same time.

The grin widened further, and she vanished completely. Then, her voice came, screaming the words in an overly dramatic fashion as loud music blared from an indiscernible source, "MORTAL COMBAT!"

"What do we do now!" screamed the movie version to the game version as they both covered their ears in a failed attempt to lessen the pain the incredibly loud volume was causing to their heightened hearing.

"I think she means for us to fight!" answered the game version, trying not to wince, "Perhaps if one of us wins, she'll turn off this blasted noise!"

"Agreed!" and at that word, the two lunged at each other and-

_**Due to the graphic nature of this scene, it has been removed to protect your clean, clean minds.**_

Movie Wesker fell to the ground, gagging as blood dripped out of his mouth. He gave a final, half hearted gasp, then simply lay there, twitching. The music stopped.

"Why did the makers of the movies feel the need to put a squid in my mouth?" game Wesker mused thoughtfully, the organ in question laying limp in his hand.

"Dude! He's not dead yet!" Angel appeared beside him, "And nice work, I haven't seen violence that graphic in years!"

"I pulled this thing from his mouth, how can he live through that?"

"He's Wesker. Movie or game, it takes forever to kill ya. He was shot several times, point blank, into the brain with a shotgun. Taking away his pet squid won't be enough."

"What do you suggest then?"

"Hmm... take him to a giant volcano, then-"

"No. Find something else."

Angel sighed, "Fine, I could just blow this place up..."

"No, that won't kill me." mumbled the fallen form as it bled out a huge crimson puddle on the floor, "I'm pretty sure I survived the explosion from the helicopter."

"That's cause you are faster than a bullet, literally, and you parachuted out. I'm gonna go all Raccoon City here, which, even if you're faster than a bullet, you won't be able to out run." she pointed out logically.

"Oh...well, crap then."

"So, wanna go get some ice cream, game Wesker?"

"I would rather gargle broken teeth and acid." he answered matter-of-fact.

"Aww, you could have just said no..." Angle pouted and snapped her fingers, leaving the movie version of Wesker all alone.

BOOOOOOM!

Meanwhile...

"I've found ghost fudge, ghost coffee, ghost chocolate, even ghost laxatives! But no ghost ice cream. Why do you think that is, Alexia?"

"I've no clue, and I don't care." muttered the transparent plant woman bitterly.

"Why not?" asked Alice, perplexed.

"I hate ice cream."

"Gasp! You don't like ice cream? What is wrong with you? You're messed up..."

"Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black, miss Mary Sue?"

"I'm not a Mary Sue! I have flaws!"

"Oh? Name them. What about your character is flawed enough to make us question weather you'll somehow live through anything?"

"I was killed by a fly swatter last chapter." she grinned in victory.

"Only because the author altered your character."

"Oh..." she pouted.

"Sooner or later, you'll accept it." Alexia assured her with a pat on the head.

"So, either of you lovely dead girls wanna go out with me?" ghost movie Wesker asked, floating by.

"No." they chimed in unison.


End file.
